I Drunkingly Hopped in the Studio and Started Channeling
I found my inner rapper and not only is she cocky, she reminded me of who I’ve been, who I am, and where I’m going.
In December of 2024, I visited one of my besties. She’d just moved into a new home and I was excited to come into town and see it, as we often FaceTimed throughout the process of it being built. Inside the home, her husband built a recording studio. He is a talented musician and honestly they’re both creative beings that inspire me. Side Note: Liking your best friend’s husband is a HUGE flex. Anyways, I joked with him and said let’s hop in the studio, I want to rap. He said okay. I put it off for a day because I got scared.
On my final full day there, I began writing my “rap” on my notes app and even shared it with my best friend. It was horrible! We were laughing at it over dinner and I thought I cannot go through with this and embarrass myself. Later that day her husband asked if I was ready to hop in the studio. I told him I was hoping he forgot. He assured me it would be fun, but I needed some liquid courage first in case I made a fool of myself. Which who cares if I did, this was for fun and in a safe space. Once we all got in the studio, he asked me what my vibe was. I told him southern female rap. After-all, I am a Texas girl so I wanted something that resonated with my culture.
He finds a beat, tweaks it around a bit and asks if I’m ready. I’m not, but I started rapping from the notes from my phone. Yes, the same notes me and my bestie laughed at over dinner. I had less than 16 bars, but I put my all in it. I tell him “that’s all I got 😅” with the thought that we are done. He says no, keep going. I told him I don’t have anything and he said that’s okay, just start rapping whatever comes to mind. HUH?!
I freeze for a second and look at my best friend with the face of “HELP ME”! She just laughs and then something powerful happened. Something took over my body. I was not me and I began channeling for the first time. I spoke about dormant dreams and venerated my ancestors. I exuded confidence that I’d only dreamt of having. It was my higher self talking and she was taking HER shit, well deserved might I add. My best friend has a video of me hearing the playback and I say “she’s so cocky”. It was giving Tina Snow vs. Megan Pete or Sasha Fierce vs. Beyoncé; my alter ego was my higher self. I was in complete awe. Who is this woman? I love her! And why was I speaking about my great great grandmother?!
Play. ▶️
From then on, I remembered things and people I had suppressed, including my great great grandmother, who was a beacon of light during my first 15 years of my life. I spent a lot of time with her growing up and at one point me and my mom lived with her while our home was being built. She wasn’t super talkative, but with her we had a deep connection. I’d yap and she would smile with pride. I can still feel her hugs. She made the best pinto beans and cornbread, even in her nineties, and she always had soda water (NOT pop) in the back, especially my favorites; Diet Dr. Pepper and Big Red. She was revered by many in her small town. As I crave a slow life these days, she introduced me to it. Sundays were for rest, church and family and NO cleaning whatsoever, not even laundry! We spent hours sitting on her porch, shelling pecans from her pecan tree, waving at neighbors, and reading the local newspaper. I would often share my school lesson plans with her and her middle daughter, earning me the nickname of “Teacher, Teacher”. Her life was simple, but full of love.
My great great grandmother was everything to me and I’d forgotten about her. When she passed I was stuck, as it was the first grief I’d known and I began to understand I have a tendency to disassociate when overwhelmed with emotion. She wasn’t sick, she was a couple months shy of 100, so it was a quick and peaceful transition for a wonderfully lived life. However, it was a transition I thought would never happen. It sounds silly, but knowing how old she was, mixed with her sound mind and mobility, I didn’t think death was in the plans for her. I fully believed she would see me married with children one day. LOL, which is crazy because I have neither yet. A few months after venerating her through my “rap”, I found pictures and post cards I’d sent her through boxes which brought light to memories I’d dimmed. I now keep her pictures and our memories close to me.
Something else that came from my time in the studio was remembering my love for music. I’ve always loved music and funny enough, I was a great singer as a child. I would often open up for our church city wide revivals for both children and adult choirs and my great great grandmother would proudly be in attendance. People still ask my Granny if I have long hair and can sing, she sadly says no to both LOL. Puberty, or maybe a vocal cord injury, took my angelic voice away so I haven’t been a great singer in years. But I forgot just how deep my love for music was until I found my song book about a month after the studio with songs I’d written at age 10. I even found some fashions I drew. I would often cut up old clothes, attempt to sew them and record songs that I’d written on a tape player. I even used to perform my songs, along with Destiny’s Child’s, during Family Reunions and gatherings. I fully believed I would be a triple threat star. Singing, acting, modeling.
Maybe I still will be, or maybe I can still use my voice, creativity and beauty in a different way. Either way, ever since I channeled in the studio, I can’t stop. Not to mention, how wonderful it is to have a personal song that reminds me of who I’ve been, who I am, and where I’m going. I feel God within me and I honor our relationship more than ever since this moment. And of course I would, there’s no way I could venerate my great great grandmother without experiencing how great God is. She rarely missed a Sunday service, prayer line call, or Bible study. Now will I join the church again? That’s up for debate, but again, my relationship with God is even stronger since I stepped foot in that studio.
Have you ever channeled? If so, what was your first time or most memorable channel like? Sound off in the comments. I would love to hear about it if you’re comfortable.
As always, thank you for taking time to read! If this resonated with you, please like and subscribe and if you feel this may resonate with someone else, share it with them. Until next time. 😌🧚🏾♀️💕✨
Originally posted on Substack on February 10, 2026 - https://thebrianadionne.substack.com/p/i-drunkingly-hopped-in-the-studio
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