I'm an Angry Black Woman

Yesterday I was sad. Period hormones had me in a chokehold chile. Often times my sadness can be traced back to my anger. I’m angry and have been so for years, but in 2025 I decided I will no longer ashamed of my anger. I’m an angry Black woman. Yeah, I said it.

Been mad cause who asks to take a pic while I eat my birthday cake?! 😒

It’s important to note that while I’m an angry Black woman, that is not all I am. I exude joy more often than anger, because I’m not stuck in one perpetual emotion. I am a Gemini with a heavy mutable chart, I’m always changing my mind, mood, interests, etc. I am also a lover girl through and through and dare I say that it’s probably why I’m so damn mad. Cause where is the love?!

Pause. ⏸️ Hey Siri, play Mad by Solange.

Play. ▶️

Anyways, I got a lot to be mad about. Here’s a short list of why I’m mad.

1. AmeriKKKa

2. Childhood friends who bullied and betrayed me

3. My exes - RAWT IN HAIL lol

4. That old situationship - cause how did you not see how powerful we could have been together?

5. My father because when will you get it?

6. My bank account cause you should be as big as my titties.

7. Hyper independence - this is actively being worked on, but I’m still mad I feel the need to do it all alone.

8. My soulmate cause you’re taking too long UGH.

   
   

So yeah, I’m mad/angry. For years I suppressed it because anger is uncomfortable for those feeling it and its recipients. I never properly learned how to handle my anger. I started getting angry around age 10. My mom, bless her soul, got the brunt of it. Childhood bullying broke me down so I would lash out at home subconsciously, because my mother was my only safe space to do so. I couldn’t stand up to my bullies at school, but at home if my mom said something I didn’t like, my rage would see it to cut her deep. It wasn’t about her, it was about me and the pain I was feeling from many at school, because at that age, school is life. Eventually my rage started scaring us both, so I saw a doctor about it. It somewhat helped, but what did help was the birth of my brother shortly after I turned 12. I was a big sister now, I said to myself “I have to get it under control for him”. Also, how can you be angry when there’s a cute baby around? So I did what I knew how to do at the time, suppress it.

I'm more than angry, I'm a big sister too

Pause. ⏸️ I want to say thank you to my mom. She knew something was not right within me and many wanted her to spank me into submission, but she didn’t. She sought out professional help for me instead of harming me in a way that would harden me. I love you deeply mommy.

Play. ▶️

I love you mommy!

Fast forward, I kept my rage to a minimum. I had my moments because period hormones as a teenager? 0/10. But overall, it was nothing like the 10 and 11 year old version of me.

However, there were a couple of moments in college where my anger scared me. I blacked out in a fit of rage twice. I told people I loved, I hated them. The only reason I know I told them this, is because they told me I said it. I did not hate them, yet they cannot unhear what I said, even though I never meant it. I also had an ex, who very much deserved the rage I spewed cause how are you going to cheat on me when I’m in the next room?! Literally, the next room. Asshole. Anyways, I blacked out in a fit of rage and it scared me. I left him alone after that, because I did not want to stay with someone who pulled me that far out of character. Both of these situations showed me that my anger needed to get under control, STAT!

Now I’m in my 30s, I haven’t had that level of rage happen in over 10 years. Part of it is just knowing who I can and cannot be around, because some people make it their mission to dim my light by any means necessary. Being both beautiful and kind is a dangerous game - there’s an article I could write about that. Another part of it is also knowing that my anger can cause irreparable damage to those I love. Alas, in 2025 I started to sit with my anger. I began writing and it served as a gentle and sacred release. I went to a rage room. I also went to therapy - now I had been in therapy for years, but I had to take care of urgent matters first, before getting to the root. I realized the root of my anger was telling a story and there was a pattern; “I’m not enough”.

From the bullying, cheating exes, father wounds, and lack of commitment from men, they all hit a deep wound of not being enough. I performed my worth day in and day out, just to be told in so many ways, I’m still not enough. To be both Black and woman in America, you’re not enough to both your non-Black counterparts and to those who look like us. Sexism and misogyny is felt by Black women not only outside of our homes, but often inside too with our fathers and partners and even the women who uphold it. You can another layer if you’re a Black woman who is queer and/or disabled. Ugh. Misogyny and sexism are the bitches who have stole many people’s joy. Grrrr. 🤬 but I’m here to tell you if no one else has, YOU ARE ENOUGH.

Pause. ⏸️ Hey Siri, play This Bitch Matters by Doechii. Speaking of Doechii, girl I appreciate you! You’ve inspired me and I hope to meet you one day to say it in person. But as I deal with my wounds around worthiness, it’s important to remind myself, THIS BITCH MATTERS!

Play. ▶️

I’m angry, I matter and I’m SEXY AF - Bali, you were a dream.

So what do I do to handle this anger? I realized my rage was scary because I wasn’t expressing it until it completely boiled over. When triggered, my body would take over to protect and regulate itself, no matter who, what, when or where; hence, the blackouts. Very much, the body keeps the score-esque. Now? Any small bit of anger, I release it. How? Below are some healthy ways that works for me.

1. Scream in my car

2. Journal like Regina George in Mean Girls

3. Go on a walk or run

4. Play my sound bowls

5. Nap

6. Deep breaths

7. Sing and dance - twerking is my fave

8. Go to a rage room

9. Look at the sky

10. Rap in the mirror like Issa

11. My last and favorite - LEAVE THEM! ☺️😘

    
    

By doing this, I’m able to feel and release my anger as quickly as it comes, instead of letting it build like a RICO case. Sometimes it creates art, but more importantly it is a release.

So yes, I’m an angry Black woman, but my anger is not anything to be feared, but to be heard and released. Anger is what often fuels change. Anger is what started movements such as the Civil Rights movement and Me Too. Anger is sacred. Anger is a catalyst for change. Anger creates art. Anger is what made me leave rooms that were not serving me anymore. Anger has a story to tell!

In conclusion, let me leave you with these 3 questions.

1. What do you think your anger is telling you?

2. How are you releasing your anger? Healthily and unhealthily, write them down.

3. What changes have you made due to your anger in the past and what changes is your anger asking you to make today?

   
   

As always, thank you for reading. Each article is like a peek into my overactive mind. If you feel called, please comment, like, follow and subscribe. Lastly, if you feel this will resonate with someone, please share with them. Oh and the dashes I used are MINE, ain’t no ChatGPT round here patna.

Until next time. ☺️🧚🏾‍♀️💕✨

Originally posted on Substack on February 19, 2026 - https://thebrianadionne.substack.com/p/im-an-angry-black-woman