Releasing the Negative Beliefs that Didn't Belong to Me

Today is my 33rd birthday and it’s a rare blue moon in my rising sign, Sagittarius… what better way to start anew, than to release the negative beliefs that do not belong to me? 🤗

Before we dive in, here’s a quick synopsis of the series, as I bring it to a close. I realized I carry an unworthiness wound, built from 3 different negative self beliefs that started in childhood: 1. I’m ungrateful, 2. I’m sensitive, 3. I’m lazy. I will tie them all together in the final part of this series and explain how they built my unworthiness wound in hopes of connecting with others who may share, or shared, similar beliefs and wounds.

photo taken by the Pique - Alaetra S.

The unworthiness wound is a tricky one. I would see people online speak about feeling unworthy and I would think to myself, wow that’s horrible, but I can’t relate… well, I think my literal thinking got in the way of understanding what unworthiness actually is. Sure, I would never flat out say, “I’m unworthy” and agree with it; however, my actions said otherwise.

My actions were a performance based on the negative self beliefs that didn’t belong to me. Oh I’m ungrateful? I will show you gratitude. Oh I’m sensitive? I will show you stoic. Oh I’m lazy? I will show you productivity. I wasn’t showing people me, I was showing people I wasn’t the labels that were placed on me; I was proving myself to man. Furthermore, proving myself actually meant, my authentic self wasn’t good enough or worthy. Again, “I’m unworthy” may not have directly come out of my mouth, nor was I told that, but actions don’t lie. OUCH. 😓

In the spirit of my birthday. I’m releasing this, especially as it pertains to becoming being a public figure. Visibility will be a big part of my life moving forward. I want to get paid to live? I must be visible. I want to inspire Black women? I must be visible. I will release any and all blocks that are standing in the way of my visibility, because that is standing in the way of my God given purpose here on Earth.

photo taken by the Pique - Alaetra S.

I’m Ungrateful

What I’ve shared about my life online may look good to others, but it hasn’t felt authentic to me. I’m not creating enough. I have goals that have yet to be met. My purpose is bigger than corporate America and social media. I desire to live a life that feels good and honestly, I couldn’t care less how it looks to the outside world.

In the past, I would talk myself out of asking for more or change because “it could be worse” and “I should be grateful”, but that mindset was harmful and pushed me further away from myself and from God. If it’s on my heart for more, and it’s coming from within and not from outside sources, why not give it to God to sort out on my behalf? I am a firm believer God doesn’t want us to suffer just so we appear grateful to man. That calm and constant voice that won’t let up? That’s God. Why would I not listen to God? To satisfy others ego, or due to my own fears? SMH…

I can be grateful and still ask God for more, different, alignment.

I’m absolutely grateful for the life I have created for myself thus far, but it’s time for a pivot as I yearn for more. I no longer what to hide behind my gratitude because I subconsciously feel I am not worthy of more. Yes, I may have more than some of my peers, I am doing well statistically speaking, but I’m not doing what I want to do with my life and that’s the difference.

I’m Proud to Be Sensitive

“I cannot handle criticism.” “The world is too cruel.” “I’m too weak.” This is what I would I believed as it relates to visibility online. I’ve spoken about being bullied and I’d do anything to protect that little girl again, but protection doesn’t mean hiding. I was hiding out of fear of being mocked, belittled, shamed, etc. I can protect myself by having good boundaries, a solid support group, slowly allowing new people in, expressing myself in rooms I feel safe, and walking away from anything that doesn’t serve me.

The negativity I had around my sensitivity made me feel unworthy of living a full life. A full life to me means making myself visible and taking risks knowing that God has me covered. My feelings of unworthiness showed up loudly in my career and dating. I would stay comfortable in places I know I shouldn’t, because I feared putting myself out there, taking a risk and getting hurt. I feared I would crumble at rejection because I did so often in my childhood. But now, I welcome rejection. I mean it’s not a great feeling, but rejection lets me know that room or person is not for me; rejection is a great guide once you get used to it.

I’ve endured a lot of pain because of my sensitivity, but it’s also taught me a lot about myself. I’m much more aware of people and places that don’t serve me early on. My sensitivity is a major reason why I have stellar pattern recognition and discernment. I may not always know why, but I can easily spot an unsafe person, place or thing. My sensitivity has saved my life and it will continue to do so. I don’t mind being sensitive and it can no longer be used against me. In fact, my sensitivity will help me connect with others in a genuine way. I’m not interested in clout as it pertains to being a public figure, I’m interested in connection and true connection requires sensitivity and empathy. My sensitivity, like my vulnerability, is truly a superpower and God handpicked me and so many others with it. To think I once felt one of my greatest strengths made me feel unworthy to be my authentic self saddens me, but it pushes me to go harder and lean into it in the days I have left here on Earth.

I’m Lazy Selective

I don’t have the energy, or so I thought. I’m a manifesting generator (s/o to you if you are too babes), meaning I have selective energy reserved for matters that interest me. So yes I’m “lazy” when it comes to matters that don’t interest me, but as a whole I have lots of energy. I’m energized by a wide variety of subjects that I enjoy both yapping and researching about. The mundane and typical doesn’t move me, so maybe that does make me “lazy” when it comes to having a traditional job, or the adulting responsibilities like taxes (EEEEEYUCK!), but as an overall label, it never gave lazy.

As I think about turning 33, I want my energy to be spent in places that excite me, such as travel, authentic connections and spirituality. I no longer want to be “normal” and play by the rules. Instead, I want to experience God’s goodness and miracles. I want my life to be an inspirational love story to Black women. I want Black women to use their strength and tenacity in areas that benefit them and not others. I want us to get selective in where we give our energy and let God handle the rest. It is radical and many may call us lazy, but we know who are and it’s necessary for our wellbeing. We shouldn’t exhaust ourselves to fight against the never ending stereotypes, but instead get selfish about our desires because we are worthy of all God has to offer.

Lastly, this pivot in being visible is so that I can align with opportunities and people that will energize me. I’ve always known that God’s assignment on my life is bigger than I can comprehend, but my actions yet again, showed me that I believed I was unworthy. Playing safe with my career choices, how I show up online, how I dated, etc. showed that I viewed myself as unworthy, but also my lack of belief in God. God gave me an incredible voice and healing energy, but I chose to dim it behind the safety of corporate America or a “decent” man. WOW, how insulting that must be to God. But no more…

photo taken by the Pique - Alaetra S.

Thirty-Free

As I close out this series and my 32nd year, I can’t help but think of some of the most iconic artists of our time. Artists feel deeply and often have a knack of expressing the things we all feel in a unique way. It can be music (my fave), dancing, painting, writing, etc., but the reason we enjoy their art, is because we see ourselves in them.

We see Beyoncé’s gratitude in the way she honors her peers and predecessors. Erykah Badu straight up told us she’s sensitive about her shit, likely because her art comes from her lived experiences. We see Michael Jackson’s work ethic in the way he would rush to the studio in hopes that Prince wouldn’t steal his creative downloads. The things that made me believe I was unworthy, are the makings of some of our greatest artists.

I’m not sure what the future holds for me, but I do know that visibility and creativity will be at the center moving forward. Why? Because I’ve finally freed myself from negative beliefs that didn’t belong to me. And what better time to do so in June, my birth month, which is all about freedom; Juneteenth, Pride, and Black Music.

It feels so damn good to be free, I mean 33 😏.

photo taken by the Pique - Alaetra S.

Thank you so much for being apart of this vulnerable, but necessary series. If you saw yourself in this, I hope you do the work (it’s hard, I know) to free yourself from beliefs that don’t belong to you and that are limiting your life. Feel free to like, comment and subscribe if you feel called to, or share it with a friend you believe this message will resonate with. Lastly, if you missed the other pieces in this series, they’re listed below. Until next time my friends. 🧚🏾‍♀️💕✨

Originally posted on Substack June 1, 2026 (https://open.substack.com/pub/thebrianadionne/p/releasing-the-negative-beliefs-that?r=2is9ez&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web)